A belated Happy New Year, O Readers!

I can’t remember why I decided to do this song next and it’s not particularly happy, but it was in my drafts so I’m going with it.

This song appeared on the 2011 EP True and is the “prequel” to Omi’s “Yoake no Hikari.” Her blog post about that song is as close as we get on the official member blogs to an explanation of the content of this song, “Tokoyami no Yoake.” My translation of the previously mentioned song can be found here: exist†trace – Yoake no Hikari . If the story here doesn’t seem to make sense, it would probably help to read that song and Omi’s blog post about it, then come back to this song.

To do just that now: miko wrote in June 2011 that she and Omi interpret this song differently, and that everyone will probably have their own interpretation of it based on their environment and experiences. I don’t remember what I thought these were about before reading the member blogs. Now,  if I were to interpret these songs in the most general sense, I’d say they’re about at least three people: the singer, someone dear to the singer who is alive but in deep despair, and someone dear to that person who is dead. My more specific interpretation is that it’s about a family of three: the father, who is dead; the mother, who is in a mental hospital; and their child, who is the one telling their story and not necessarily a minor. This comes into play when I had to make a choice as far as what pronoun to use, and whether to make it singular or plural. This wasn’t specified anywhere in this song but it’s a necessity of English grammar.

The featured image on this post is a detail from American painter Edwin Church’s Cotopaxi, painted in 1862. As explained on the Detroit Institute of Art’s website, at the time, the light of the morning sun and dark plume of smoke from the eruption of Cotopaxi, an active volcano in Ecuador, was interpreted as symbolizing the American Civil War. The contrast of light and dark made me think it was a fitting image for this song.

And so, on to it! Lyrics in Japanese can be found here on Rock Lyric.

☆

Tokoyami no Yoake

fukaku tozasu yoake
seijaku ni hibiku kodou yamanai himei
kodokuna yoru ni tomoshita inori
mada todokanai

nagesuterareta sonzai kachi
dare mo inakunatta kizudarake no karada
omoide no kakera chiri ni kaete
sabishisa ni kurui ano hito wa yami e to

hitsuuna sakebi kyozetsu osore mimi wo fusaida
zouo no hitomi jibun wa doko ni aru?

fukaku tozasu yoake
seijaku ni hibiku kodou yamanai himei
kodokuna yoru ni tomoshita inori mada

motometeita atatakana te
aijou ni ueta osanago no you ni

kowareta kokoro sono kurushimi irekawareta nara
kuukyona hitomi jibun wa doko ni aru?

fukaku tozasu yoake
seijaku ni hibiku kodou yamanai himei
kodokuna yoru ni tomoshita inori
naze todokanai

ame to tomo ni nagareru
kegare itami ga itsuka kieru made
tada nakeba ii kono mama
chikara tsukiru made

fukaku tozashita yoake
inori karehate
tatoe yurusarenakute mo
“kimi wa kimi de ii koko ni ireba ii”
…dakara nakeba ii
onore wo kirisaku itami sakebitsuzukero
itsuka subete yuruseru hi ga kuru nara
sono toki made

Forever Dark Dawn

The thickly enshrouding dawn
A pulse ringing out in the stillness  Never-ending screams
The prayer offered up in the lonely night
Remains unanswered

The discarded reason for living
The scarred body, now an empty husk,
Turns into nothing but a pulverized fragment of memory
Driven mad by loneliness, she falls into darkness

Sorrowful screams  Ears covered, fearing rejection
Eyes full of hatred   Where are you?¹

The thickly enshrouding dawn
A pulse ringing out in the stillness  Never-ending screams
The prayer offered up in the lonely night, still isn’t…

Having longed for a warm hand
Like a love-starved child

Shattered heart   If I could replace that suffering
Empty eyes   Where are you?

The thickly enshrouding dawn
A pulse ringing out in the stillness  Never-ending screams
The prayer offered up in the lonely night
Why isn’t it answered?

The shame and pain that flow with the rain
Will someday disappear     Until then,
You can cry, just like this
Until you’re all worn out

The thickly enshrouded dawn
Withered prayers
Even if you’re not forgiven
“You’re fine as you are, you can stay here”
…so it’s okay if you cry
Keep screaming out the pain that rips you to shreds
If the day when all is forgiven will come
Until then

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^1. Given the use of ある aru (“be” for non-living things) instead of いる iru (“be” for living things) I think this means “where are you mentally” rather than physically. Also, 自分 can refer to others or oneself, so this line could also be “Where am I?” However, given the description of the other person (“The scarred body, now an empty husk” and “empty eyes”) I think “Where are you” is the most logical interpretation. ⤴