Episode 4: Please Don’t Forget Me

GACKT shared the story 「どうか私のことを忘れないで〜五年後に届いた手紙〜」(Please Don’t Forget Me ~The Letter from Five Years Ago~) through his Official Facebook page (this post).

Staff Introduction

We’re bringing you behind the scenes stories of the making of “P.S. I LOVE U”!

GACKT will release his 44th single, “P.S. I LOVE U,” on February 12th. After over six months of fretfully rewriting the lyrics and singing them in different ways, this song has evolved to the point that GACKT himself has called it his “legacy.”

While working on the lyrics, seeking to answer the question “what is the ultimate expression of love,” GACKT gathered up all sorts of videos and letters that told a variety of stories, each time surrounding himself with the essence of love. Taking it all in, he made “P.S. I LOVE U.”

This is the fourth part of GACKT’s journey making this song.

GACKT’s Introduction

[Episode 4] Please Don’t Forget Me ~The Letter from Five Years Ago~

This is late because I spent so much time thinking of how best to convey this to you. Sorry.

Today’s episode is “The Letter from 5 Years Ago.” While I was watching this, I thought about the futures of the people I love. [Ed. note: I’m taking this to mean all the people he holds dear, rather than a single particular lover. …no pun intended.]

Would I want them to forget me as they walk their future path? Or would I want them to keep me in their hearts, always feeling my presence walking beside them? This is the issue that I fretted about the most with this song. I asked my staff for their opinions, but that just added to the confusion.

If I say what I really feel, I’ll say that I don’t want to be forgotten. I want the people I love to always feel me at their side.

But, when I’m gone, rather than grieving over losing me, I want them to look ahead, moving forward with a smile. Or better yet, if I could take with me all the memories made with the people I love, to ease their suffering even just a little bit…well, that’s the train of thought I had.

In any case, I want the people I love to be happy for all eternity. I wish from the bottom of my heart, that when their time comes, they’ll be able to feel that they were happier than anybody else. [Ed. note: I’m not 100% sure I understood this one correctly.]

So, while thinking about all these sorts of things, somehow I finished making this new song. While I’d really like to reveal to you the whole story at this very moment, let’s leave some fun for tomorrow.

We’ll meet again then.

Episode 4: Please Don’t Forget Me ~The Letter from 5 Years Ago~

This letter arrived five years after my wife’s intense battle with disease ended in her painful death. It seems she wrote it for a future me when she felt the end was drawing near. Below is the entire letter.

Dear Future ◯◯,

How are you? Is that job you love so much going well? It’s you we’re talking about, so I’m sure you’ve been incredibly successful. I’m happy, yo!

Well, getting straight to the point…it seems I won’t live much longer. In my line of work you somehow get to really understand your own body. And the medicine I get now is completely different too. So, I figured I should write you one last letter.

By this time, you must have a new, cute wife, huh? Ahaha! Well that’s great! You find happiness, don’t worry about me. You have the gift of making people happy. You can’t forsake your responsibility of using that gift. I’m watching over you to make sure your life is filled with joy.

I’m completely fine. I’m here in the Afterlife drooling over hot guys, after all! LOL

And you, you’re gonna have many children, and make a wonderful family. I bet your children are gonna be soooo cute! Maybe I’ll be reborn as one of them! If you have to wait in line to be reborn, I’m taking cuts!

That’s the sort of thing a grandmother would think up, huh. [Ed. note: I’m not sure about this line, since おばさん means ‘aunt’ or ‘middle-aged woman,’ but I should think a grandmother would be more likely to want to be reborn as her grandchild.]

But anyway…I’ve got just one request.

Please don’t forget me. No matter how happy you become, just a few times a year, please think of me. I’ve already lost my father and mother, so if you forget me, I’ll disappear from the world completely. That’s the only thing I’m scared of.

Now, when I saw “a few times

The day we started going out. The restaurant by the sea in Makuhari.

The summer we went to Hokkaido. I’ve always worn the necklace you gave me then. I’m still wearing it now. Don’t put it in the coffin with me! You keep it, okay?

The day of your first match as a regular player was also the first day I made your lunch. Not that I’m saying the two things are related! The fried egg was too spicy. Sorry ’bout that.

You got hammered on our anniversary! But that’s fine! LOL

Lastly, the anniversary of my death. I think I’ll be able to sleep happily while thinking about you.

These are my Top 4 Memories! So think of me just four times a year, okay? That’s all I ask. Alright? The instant you think of me, I’ll be able to come back to this world. I’m selfish till the end, eh? Ahaha…. Sorry.

Hmm, I meant to write to the future you, but I’m a bit confused now. Well, your future is shining so bright it’s blinding, I can’t see at all!

Oh, I’m being called for an x-ray, so I’ll sign off here. If I really sat myself down to write, this letter would probably get reeeally long. So I just wrote what came to me, and this’ll have to be it.

◯◯, thanks for everything up till now. I’m sorry if this letter made you sad.

My life that I spent with you, that I made with you, was so happy that my belly’s full!

There’s nothing to be afraid of anymore.

I’ll watch over you, and protect your happiness, forever and always.

From △△, who is imagining your future smile.

P.S.: Hey, you better eat right!

Oh come on! Bossing me around till the end!

For your information, I’m still single. But I’m happy. I realized it once more reading your letter. I’m gonna do my best, so you just keep watching, got it?


{Note: I originally posted this translation to my personal blog, at this post.}

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